To be successful in Gonder and become an honorary Habesha, or Ethiopian, you need to:
- Drink coffee like water
- Add spoonfuls of sugar to your coffee
- Eat the local cuisine skillfully with your right hand only
- Shun the use of napkins at meals
- Avoid the sun with an umbrella
- Balance large, unwieldy items on your heard while walking
- Know the secret handshake
- Live and breathe football
- Support Manchester United or Arsenal
- Idolize Abebe Bikila and Haile Gebreselaisse
- Be a fan of King Fasiladas, the founder and first king of Gonder
- Respect the Queen of Sheba
- Acknowledge the Ark of the Covenant really is in Axum
- Walk defensively — dodging minibuses, bajajs, and garis; stray donkeys, sheep, goats, and cows; swarms of children; and potholes, trenches, and large piles of cut stones
- Ignore the droning of Muslim and Ethiopian Orthodox services on public loudspeakers
- Use the Ethiopian calendar and clock
- Drive a hard bargain in the Merkato
- Be easygoing
- Impress the locals by breaking out your best eskista at social functions
- Smile
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